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My Silly Goof Ups

Goofing up comes very naturally to me. As a boy, I used to be under constant glare of my father for goof-ups I would have committed or I was about to commit. Without much preamble, I am presenting here the long list of goof-ups the fate had twisted my arm into committing unwillingly.

One Wrist Two Watches

I was wearing a wristwatch and for some reason forgot all about it. While putting on my dress, I wore one more watch in the same hand. I realised only after our son started laughing.


Shaving cream to brush teeth


While traveling, I keep the shaving cream and tooth-paste in the same travel kit. A couple (!) of mornings, I had applied shaving cream to the tooth brush absent-mindedly. On one occasion, I started brushing too. 🤭

Ticket dump

While working in Chennai, I used to take the city bus regularly. It was common to end up with a handful of the colourful tiny bus tickets in my pockets. On one (not so) fine day, I bought the ticket to my destination and pocketed the ticket. While pocketing it, I found several old tickets in the pocket. I normally favour procrastination than swinging into immediate action. For some reason, on that day, I wanted to empty my pockets. I did. But, sadly, I realised that I had disposed off (sorry about littering the road) the freshly purchased ticket too. With a startle, I looked up at the conductor. All the while he had been observing me. Now his tired face registered a smirk too.  So, I had to buy another ticket. This meant that on the last day of the month my dinner would consist of only a single banana fruit.

Clang! Clang!

In the kitchen, after washing the plate, we would normally stack the plates in a cabinet which has a small wooden door. The kitchen has another compartment for LPG cylinders. That also has a similar door. After dinner, lost in thought, I opened, inadvertently the door for the LPG compartment and threw in the plate. The whole world knew my goof-up when metal met metal with a clang (my plate met the LPG cylinder) and reverberated throughout the kitchen. Our son had to be tied down with a rope to stop laughing.

Flight Trouble

Once I was supposed to board an Indian Airlines flight from Chennai to Bangalore. Those days IA was the only carrier. I showed my boarding card at the gate, walked to the aircraft and showed it once more to the man at the bottom of the stairs leading to the aircraft. Once in, I found someone sitting in my seat. Being an aisle seat, I decided to put up a fight. I politely informed the person that the seat belonged to me. He gave me a dirty look and showed me his boarding card. It also had the same seat no. I was about to complain to the air hostess when I glanced at the flight no. I was in a flight bound for Coimbatore! I got this reconfirmed with the air-hostess and rushed down red-faced. 

Flight Trouble Returns

While returning from Pune, I was given a Saturday morning flight. The time given in the itinerary was 8:50 AM. I walked into the airport and found that the counters were closed.  A bewildered staff informed me that the flight had left at sevenish and must be near Bangalore. I realised, to my horror, that 8:50 AM was arrival time at Bangalore. I had misread the itinerary and assumed it was the departure time. Then what, I had to buy a ticket for the evening flight with my own money.

A Tale of Two trolleys

After I landed in the Bangalore airport, I hurriedly pulled a luggage cart from the line of carts. After reaching the luggage belt I saw that the other passengers were giving me a queer sort of look. It is then that I realised that in my characteristic way, I hauled up 2 carts. 

Water bottle Ride

I was in a rush to leave for the office. I had the office bag in one hand and a water bottle in the other. I unlocked the car and was about to stow the bag and the bottle in the car. At that unfortunate moment, my mobile phone started ringing. Instinctively, I placed the water bottle on the roof of the car. While talking over the phone, I placed the bag on the rear seat, got in and started driving. On the way, the onlookers started at my car as though they had spotted a tiger on the car’s roof. As the minute passed, I was growing more tense. Finally, I pulled the car aside and got down to determine the source of amusement I was providing to the onlookers. There the water bottle was standing proudly as erect as a statue on the roof of my car. All along I had driven the car with the bottle on roof of my car, like a performing artist in a circus.

Access card at home

Working for 25 years in an IT organisation had hard-wired me with a few habits. All the doors in the office had access card readers. I used to dangle my ID card and access card around my neck. I would mechanically swipe my card every time to open a door. On one of those busy days, I reached home late. Instead of ringing the doorbell, I absent-mindedly swiped my access card against the door at home. As you had guessed, the door did not open. 

Two hands were not enough



My wife and I were travelling from Berlin to Bangalore. We changed flights at the Doha airport. As always, we had to go through a security check at the Doha airport too. The Doha security callously asked me to remove my waist belt and place it on the tray for scanning. It was that phase of my life when I had started losing weight under the wilting gaze of my gastroenterologist. I had to hold my trousers with one of my hands while the security staff was frisking me. The next task was to pick up the tray that had my cabin baggage. I could not hold the heavy tray with only one hand. It was beginning to tip to one side. My reflexes made me hold the tray with both hands. If both my hands were grasping the tray, which hand was holding my trousers? All I can say is that I turned deep red.

Disaster Strikes Twice

We were going to Ooty for the first time. This was way back in 2000 or around that. I searched the internet and identified a hotel that accepted email booking. Upon checking in, I found that the hotel was old and not so good. I made a mental note that I would never set foot in the hotel again. During our next trip to Ooty after 5 or more years, I booked into a hotel which appeared good. When we drove down and parked the car in the dirty basement, we were wondering that it appeared very familiar as though from a previous birth. Then it all came back to me. I had inadvertently booked in the same hotel that I vowed never to set my eyes upon. I renewed my vow that I would never even look in the direction of the hotel. I have not been to Ooty since then. Let us see what fate has planned for us.






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